And the hardest part was letting go
Every second of our lives, we are experiencing. Every one may not be especially worthy or significant, but we cannot deny an experience its existence. Unfortunately, some of these moments may burden us more than we would like them to.
I write the back story to every story, even when it's not a story to begin with. In layman's terms, I think into things way more than I should. I don't know if it is the Psychology Major in me or the overly creative imagination in me that fabricates an intention, a motive, a reason, an excuse for every single one of my actions or words or those that I happen upon. The phrase, "I think you're thinking too much into this," is not foreign to me. I do try not to. I try to let go, but I just can't seem to master the concept.
Perhaps it's my belief that everything is for something, that everything happens for a reason. I have spent hours, days, weeks, and sometimes even months harping on just one experience, sometimes even just one comment that spanned maybe 20 seconds of my life. Was the 20 seconds worth the scrutiny and analysis? Probably not.
The moments that make you smile and tingle inside, well it's clear why we would want to relive them, put a creative spin on them, keep them vivid and at the top of our pile of memories for easy access.
But the moments that are like a knife to the heart? Why do I feel the need to replay them in my mind over and over? Why am I unable to repress the thoughts? Maybe because thinking, talking, and writing about them eases the pain, maybe because my mind is powerful enough to twist the experience so that it doesn't seem like it was that hurtful or painful, maybe because as a human, I like to feel bad for myself.
It's unfortunate how easily a bad moment or bad experience can overpower the fluffy experience that was initially on loop in your mind.
I don't think I'll ever be able to completely let go. But I don't think that's such a bad thing. I am not a jaded, stoic individual. The world and its elements affects me in various ways and there's no way I can ignore them.
And if I just let go, what would I have to write about?
I write the back story to every story, even when it's not a story to begin with. In layman's terms, I think into things way more than I should. I don't know if it is the Psychology Major in me or the overly creative imagination in me that fabricates an intention, a motive, a reason, an excuse for every single one of my actions or words or those that I happen upon. The phrase, "I think you're thinking too much into this," is not foreign to me. I do try not to. I try to let go, but I just can't seem to master the concept.
Perhaps it's my belief that everything is for something, that everything happens for a reason. I have spent hours, days, weeks, and sometimes even months harping on just one experience, sometimes even just one comment that spanned maybe 20 seconds of my life. Was the 20 seconds worth the scrutiny and analysis? Probably not.
The moments that make you smile and tingle inside, well it's clear why we would want to relive them, put a creative spin on them, keep them vivid and at the top of our pile of memories for easy access.
But the moments that are like a knife to the heart? Why do I feel the need to replay them in my mind over and over? Why am I unable to repress the thoughts? Maybe because thinking, talking, and writing about them eases the pain, maybe because my mind is powerful enough to twist the experience so that it doesn't seem like it was that hurtful or painful, maybe because as a human, I like to feel bad for myself.
It's unfortunate how easily a bad moment or bad experience can overpower the fluffy experience that was initially on loop in your mind.
I don't think I'll ever be able to completely let go. But I don't think that's such a bad thing. I am not a jaded, stoic individual. The world and its elements affects me in various ways and there's no way I can ignore them.
And if I just let go, what would I have to write about?
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2.) Word.