L'homme est Libre au Moment Qu'il Veut L'être
Everyone likes receiving presents. Even if we expect them (birthdays, graduation, milestones), we are still touched. But even better is the unexpected present. One, "just because." Call me crazy, but I enjoy giving presents more than receiving them. Most things I really need or want, I just purchase myself (iPhone excluded. Hint to my loving parents...) To me there's nothing quite like finding the perfect present for someone and seeing his or her eyes light up when it's ripped open...especially when it was completely unexpected. Not necessarily glamorous or expensive. Just fitting.
Giving a present is a rather apt symbol for our general interactions with people in our day to day lives. We give and take.
We take advice and give our word. We break ice and maintain reputations. In short, the vast majority of our life experiences revolve around exchanges with other people and more than a choice, it’s a social norm. From an early age, we have been groomed to give more than we take and to think of others before thinking of ourselves. To be selfish is to be un-human.
In the spirit of spring break, a time when we can turn the world upside down and get away with it, I propose that total and complete selflessness may not always be the most healthy decision. Once in a while, we're allowed to be selfish. After all, from a purely evolutionary perspective, reproductive success relied on selfishness.
Fast-forward millions of years from the Environment for Evolutionary Adaptation to the Environment for Technological Advancement: Underneath the layers of groups and communities, lies the individual. The Self. At some point, it cannot be wrong to think of your Self. After all, South Asia’s most powerful forms of rejuvenation and improvement are founded on a form of meditation that is entirely dedicated to an individual’s getting lost within himself.
Almost too often, I find myself sacrificing what I truly want for the wants of others, an epic battle between the id and super-ego. In the end, it just feels better to spare someone else’s feelings and come to terms with ourselves. We’ve all been down the “Whatever, I’ll just let it go to avoid upsetting her” road. For the most part, this sacrifice is easy. It’s cognitive dissonance at its best – “I didn’t really want it anyway. It’s better this way.”
But even these prototypical “acts of kindness” are not unwarranted. After all, as propagated by one of television's most intellectual characters, there is no selfless good deed. Our “selflessness” is propelled by the assumption that we will be repaid for our acts. That one day, the people for whom we sacrifice will turn around and make sacrifices for us.
Unfortunately, living happily ever after is only for Cinderella. So, unless you’re traveling around in pumpkins-turned-carriages or running away from princes at the stroke of midnight, chances are that you are not always going to be acknowledged or repaid for your deeds. A total and complete disregard for your own feelings in exchange for the happiness of others may simply fuel their selfishness. The more you give, the more they will take. And then what? Once you’ve given all there is to take, you remain a depleted resource, wasted, unhappy, and foolish.
I realize that we can’t all just build barricades around ourselves and completely ignore the billions of other humans with whom we share the world’s resources. But perhaps, once in a while, we have to step back from the fray and, for just the blink of an eye, be selfish. Everyone else is doing it...and it's all about giving back what we get, right?
I write it, not to make you believe it, but to make myself believe it. I don't want to believe that the world is comprised of people who, at the deepest level, are completely selfish. It's time like these I like to turn to the playing field where we're allowed to be competitive, we're allowed to think of only our team, to want what's best for us, and only us.
Michael Jordan said it best: "To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish." We call the shots. There are times when it is appropriate to be selfish. Just remember that when you're completely shut down, it's better to pass than to shoot. And hey, in real life, there's no such thing as no pass-backs.
Giving a present is a rather apt symbol for our general interactions with people in our day to day lives. We give and take.
We take advice and give our word. We break ice and maintain reputations. In short, the vast majority of our life experiences revolve around exchanges with other people and more than a choice, it’s a social norm. From an early age, we have been groomed to give more than we take and to think of others before thinking of ourselves. To be selfish is to be un-human.
In the spirit of spring break, a time when we can turn the world upside down and get away with it, I propose that total and complete selflessness may not always be the most healthy decision. Once in a while, we're allowed to be selfish. After all, from a purely evolutionary perspective, reproductive success relied on selfishness.
Fast-forward millions of years from the Environment for Evolutionary Adaptation to the Environment for Technological Advancement: Underneath the layers of groups and communities, lies the individual. The Self. At some point, it cannot be wrong to think of your Self. After all, South Asia’s most powerful forms of rejuvenation and improvement are founded on a form of meditation that is entirely dedicated to an individual’s getting lost within himself.
Almost too often, I find myself sacrificing what I truly want for the wants of others, an epic battle between the id and super-ego. In the end, it just feels better to spare someone else’s feelings and come to terms with ourselves. We’ve all been down the “Whatever, I’ll just let it go to avoid upsetting her” road. For the most part, this sacrifice is easy. It’s cognitive dissonance at its best – “I didn’t really want it anyway. It’s better this way.”
But even these prototypical “acts of kindness” are not unwarranted. After all, as propagated by one of television's most intellectual characters, there is no selfless good deed. Our “selflessness” is propelled by the assumption that we will be repaid for our acts. That one day, the people for whom we sacrifice will turn around and make sacrifices for us.
Unfortunately, living happily ever after is only for Cinderella. So, unless you’re traveling around in pumpkins-turned-carriages or running away from princes at the stroke of midnight, chances are that you are not always going to be acknowledged or repaid for your deeds. A total and complete disregard for your own feelings in exchange for the happiness of others may simply fuel their selfishness. The more you give, the more they will take. And then what? Once you’ve given all there is to take, you remain a depleted resource, wasted, unhappy, and foolish.
I realize that we can’t all just build barricades around ourselves and completely ignore the billions of other humans with whom we share the world’s resources. But perhaps, once in a while, we have to step back from the fray and, for just the blink of an eye, be selfish. Everyone else is doing it...and it's all about giving back what we get, right?
I write it, not to make you believe it, but to make myself believe it. I don't want to believe that the world is comprised of people who, at the deepest level, are completely selfish. It's time like these I like to turn to the playing field where we're allowed to be competitive, we're allowed to think of only our team, to want what's best for us, and only us.
Michael Jordan said it best: "To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish." We call the shots. There are times when it is appropriate to be selfish. Just remember that when you're completely shut down, it's better to pass than to shoot. And hey, in real life, there's no such thing as no pass-backs.
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