I Got to Keep on Movin'
I attended the same school from grades six through twelve. A known face to teachers administrators and other students, I could not even fathom a life that didn't involve the school on a daily basis. And naively so, could not imagine the school without me. But just six months later when I went back to visit, I already felt as if things were different. I didn't quite fit in; I was a cardboard puzzle piece whose edges had become frayed. Once a perfectly interlocking piece, and not anymore. Whether or not I had changed as a person was irrelevant. My school, the community, had. Any gaping holes which I liked to think were a consequence of my absence had been patched up. Filled in.
This feeling of nonexistence was only a preview for what I am bound to feel on smaller and grander scales throughout my life. We are replaced by friends. We end relationships. We move out of houses. But the good news is, it's a never-ending cycle. We replenish friend circles. We start relationships. We move into houses. For every social, political, or academic position from which we are politely (or not-so-politely) ousted, we find ourselves in a new one. A different setting, different responsibilities, different followers, but the same Self. Sure I was no longer a part of my high school community. But I was now a part of a college community. The people and experiences were different, but no less electrifying.
As we continue moving forward in our lives, it becomes harder and harder to revisit what "was." Bearing witness to the ways in which the people and communities you left behind are continuing on without you is emotionally unbearable. We hate to even consider the possibility that we are unnecessary, irrelevant, and obsolete. After all, in our own lives, we ourselves are irreplaceable. It's unfathomable, a life without the "me."
So that's what we have to rely on. The fact that despite having been replaced or forgotten, we have done replacing and forgetting of our own. We go on to make life-changing discoveries and share wonderful experiences with other curious and ambitious minds. We go on living knowing that, had we not left something behind, we would never have seen what was ahead. Like most things in life, it's give and take.
As individuals, we are each engaged in a thrilling baton race. Batons of new phases of our lives are constantly being handed to us. But he who stops to look back at the baton-passer is sure to lose out against he who grabs the baton and keeps running. It has been said that moving on is undeniably easy and that it's what it leaves behind that is hard. If you ask me, being left behind is hardest. The good news is, it's also the most avoidable.
This feeling of nonexistence was only a preview for what I am bound to feel on smaller and grander scales throughout my life. We are replaced by friends. We end relationships. We move out of houses. But the good news is, it's a never-ending cycle. We replenish friend circles. We start relationships. We move into houses. For every social, political, or academic position from which we are politely (or not-so-politely) ousted, we find ourselves in a new one. A different setting, different responsibilities, different followers, but the same Self. Sure I was no longer a part of my high school community. But I was now a part of a college community. The people and experiences were different, but no less electrifying.
As we continue moving forward in our lives, it becomes harder and harder to revisit what "was." Bearing witness to the ways in which the people and communities you left behind are continuing on without you is emotionally unbearable. We hate to even consider the possibility that we are unnecessary, irrelevant, and obsolete. After all, in our own lives, we ourselves are irreplaceable. It's unfathomable, a life without the "me."
So that's what we have to rely on. The fact that despite having been replaced or forgotten, we have done replacing and forgetting of our own. We go on to make life-changing discoveries and share wonderful experiences with other curious and ambitious minds. We go on living knowing that, had we not left something behind, we would never have seen what was ahead. Like most things in life, it's give and take.
As individuals, we are each engaged in a thrilling baton race. Batons of new phases of our lives are constantly being handed to us. But he who stops to look back at the baton-passer is sure to lose out against he who grabs the baton and keeps running. It has been said that moving on is undeniably easy and that it's what it leaves behind that is hard. If you ask me, being left behind is hardest. The good news is, it's also the most avoidable.
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