That's always the way with blueberries, though.

I had an off-day yesterday. An off-day (like most other things in life), is really difficult to truly understand until you actually experience it for yourself. As I walked out the door in the morning, a small purple splotch on one of my pant legs caught my eye. My pants were khaki, so, yes, I'd say the stain was somewhat noticeable. In case you're wondering (I know I would be), I deduced that the origin of the spot is the blueberry juice from my breakfast. I thought for a second then made my first poor choice of the day. It's small. Whatever. It'll take too long to change my outfit now. So, I went on my merry way. As I walked into work, I looked down at my pants. This thing feels so much bigger than before! I felt like it was expanding. Like a tumor or something.

It was a snowball effect after I got to work. I was misunderstanding things I had once understood. It took me thirty minutes to write up a draft that, on a normal day would have taken me ten. I struggled to put together coherent sentences in English, a language I am rather comfortable speaking. And the entire day, all I could think about was that blueberry-juice stain on my pant leg. I felt like the only thing anyone could see when looking at me was The Purple Splotch. And you know, maybe that's accurate. But probably not.

The "spotlight effect" suggests that we go through our daily lives imagining ourselves to be in the spotlight. We assume that others notice more about us than they really do. Studies in psychology actually show that people don't notice as much about us as we might think.

A couple days ago, I came across an engaging article via my friend's Twitter (he always posts the most intriguing articles. I highly recommend you follow him). The article was entitled, "How to Tell the Boss His Fly Is Down." You can't go wrong with a title like that.

I don't want to spoil your fun, but overall, the article attributes failure in the workplace to a simple lack of self awareness. If you don't dedicate some of your attention to the way you are coming across to others (how are you sitting, where your hands are, what you are looking at, where on your nose your glasses rest), chances are, you'll come across to others in a way you don't intend. I get that. And to some extent, I agree.

Studies have shown that we are less likely to engage in unethical behavior when we are looking at ourselves in a mirror. So, when we are highly aware of our selves, we behave in a way that is socially accepted and appropriate.

But as my Blueberry Juice Thursday might indicate, there is a very fine line when it comes to self-awareness.

My interview at Cold Stone in the summer of 2007 was the most nerve-wrecking (and unusual) job interview I have ever experienced. My interview slot was for 10:30 AM. I remember walking in and seeing a group of about 15 other kids around my age. My first reaction was Crap, this is going to be way more competitive than expected. We did a quick round of introductions and were then given the most unexpected directions. We will start with a singing portion. Each of you is to sing the verse of a song, any song. I remember standing there wondering when my job interview had turned into a choir audition.

And then it happened. I heard myself say, "I'll go first." I felt as if my mind had jumped out of my body -- and my mind wasn't driving anymore. I sang Tomorrow from Annie. I'm not sure where that came from but the lyrics just started spewing from my mouth. A couple lines in, I started incorporating hand gestures. Some pointing, some jazz hands. By the time I was at the chorus, I was doing some pretty involved choreography. To this day, I remember those two minutes of my life to have been a very surreal experience. And yet, dare I say it, my best performance ever.

The Cold Stone experience was one of the first times in my life that I fully appreciated how sometimes, you just have to jump. Set aside the insecurities, throw caution to the wind, and literally forbid yourself to think about what others will say or think about you. It's that risk that probably got me the job (which, though hard to believe, meant a lot to me at the time). The sad but good news is that most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and problems to care about the fact that you started your day with a freak blueberry accident.

It takes a while to find that healthy balance between being self-aware but not too self-aware. I know I couldn't teach a course on it. So for now, I'll leave you with some ever-motivational Oscar Wilde: I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited."

Edit June 25, 2011: Original photo removed based on nightmare-inducing qualities. New photo credit to another Ro, who is far more talented in the art of photography than I am or ever will be.