Year after year, we're doing resolutions all wrong.

I'm still working on these

For the entirety of 2013, I involuntarily paid a monthly twenty-five dollar fee to Bank Of America to "maintain" my account. Though the amount was automatically debited, it's not like I didn't know it was happening. My friends at Mint.com sent me a dramatic email each time and encouraged me to explore the many other fee-free banks out there. Each time this happened, my reaction was the same: Outrage to self-pity to complacency. I would hop off the emotional roller coaster deciding, "I should probably do something about this at some point."

On the evening of January 2, I received my monthly "You were charged an Account Maintenance Fee!" email from Mint. I wouldn't be surprised if the company has simply set this to be a recurring monthly email to me. Outraged, I deleted the email. I didn't need it marring my #inboxzero. 

It's at this point that my outrage would typically turn to self-pity. But this time, feverish with that New Year resolve, I decided to take real action. I emailed Bank of America support explaining the situation. On January 3, I received the following response:

"If the account does not meet the requirement then the account will be charged with the fee of $25.00. We see that the account has met with the requirements, but the account was not linked to your savings account when the fee was charged. We truly apologize for the inconvenience caused to you. As the accounts were not linked we have provided the refund of $300.00."

After months of procrastination, I spent thirty seconds typing an email which earned me $300 that I should never have spent in the first place. All because the new year makes me want to be a new and better me.

On the morning of my life-changing Mint.com email, I woke up extra early. Nervous about flocks of resolutioners exhausting limited machines, I was willing to do anything to reclaim my treadmill and morning routine at the gym. To my surprise, it was business as usual when I arrived. The regulars. People must be on vacation, I told myself. Or perhaps everyone in SF already exercised. Maybe there  won't be any new ones. Still perplexed, I mentioned it to my coworker when I got into work. She chuckled and facetiously said, "Ha. Nobody does resolutions anymore. Those are so over." 

I knew she was kidding, but I couldn't help but wonder if she was kind of right. I myself have written about why I don't do resolutions. It's depressing, after all, to fall victim to cognitive dissonance -- to tell yourself that you're going to do something, then to not do it -- be it because you fell into the routine of "old you" or because the resolution was unrealistic to begin with. 

That same year that I proclaimed to be anti-resolution, I didn't drink alcohol for all of January. It was due to a medication I was taking at the time, but coming with the new year, it still felt resolution-esque. That month, I learned how much fun I could have at company happy hours or bars even when all my friends or coworkers were drinking, I felt detoxified and healthy, and I looked more fit than I had in years. The forced cold turkey approach enabled me to enjoy all the perks of a resolution-gone-right. It wasn't that I drank a lot before, but the new restriction (which could very well have been a goal) encouraged me to find fun and healthy activities to do with friends outside of grabbing dinner and drinks -- yoga, beach runs, bike rides (it helped that I was living in San Diego). I experienced the brilliant feeling of forcing yourself up and out of an otherwise okay status quo.

My coworker's comment (and my reclaimed $300) got me thinking:

Maybe us anti-resolutioners are thinking about it all wrong. A new year resolution doesn't need to be an arbitrary statement with a nice ring and no reason. It shouldn't be a  goal over which we have no control. Instead, we can think of the new year resolution as an easy opportunity for us to challenge our individual status quo -- not for a year but for a moment. To experiment on ourselves. To take action on the proverbial dust gathering in our lives (or bank accounts). To throw a whole bunch of self- and life-improving statements against the wall to see what sticks. Even if we don't maintain them for the entire year, at least we'll be consumed by a good-doing fervor for a few days or weeks. After all, perhaps there are resolutions that shouldn't be kept. Perhaps there are resolutions that deserve to forever exist as aspirational goals in our lives. 

Even if I'm not a stickler about my finances for the rest of the year, at least I took care of one financial  issue that would have otherwise plagued me for the rest of the year(s) to come.

Go on. Make a resolution. Not for the year, but just for today. See how it makes you feel. If it's right, maybe it will resolve to stick with you.