In the Pursuit of Personal Goals, BYOF (Bring Your Own Fan)

In January 2012, I decided to write a book. Like a running-lover deciding to train for a marathon, I chose this project as a personal challenge to myself. To keep myself accountable, I declared my goal on Facebook. I've never been more nervous to click "Post" on Facebook. I still remember sitting on the couch in my living room, hovering my mouse over that tempting blue button. I expected responses telling me what I already knew: 

• What value can you, a green twenty-four year old, possibly bring to literature?
• You're nothing in comparison to an Allende/Tartt/Dickens/Fitzgerald/any legitimate author.
• How do you know what sells?

Not to get all "Upworthy" on you, but I was shocked by "what happened next." I received one then ten then over thirty Likes on this status about an ambiguous personal goal. Maybe they just like me. Or personal goals. Or Facebook statuses. Prior to the book, my most recent optional personal goal was a thesis in psycholinguistics and nobody was knocking on my door wanting to read that (surprisingly). 

THE post

The book was my first unsolicited endeavor -- no teacher, no parent, no boss, no friend asked me to do it -- which meant that no one but I had a vested interest in the pursuit. 

The insecurities I experienced on the quest to my first solo, adult goal, were unparalleled. 

In the eighteen months between conceiving and launching the book (which ended up a novella), I questioned my capacity to succeed every single day. I wondered how many people thought I was a fool, always adding one to the number -- because I myself thought I was a fool. 

Self-doubt, above all else, is our biggest obstacle in life. 

This is not an easy obstacle to clear and more importantly, clearing it does not result in better performance. 

More statistics: 

• 9 people ripped the earliest draft apart then pieced it together better than the way they found it
• 38 people together contributed $1,455 to my publishing efforts 
• 84 people signed up to proofread the entire book
• 20 actually proofread the entire book
• 234 people like the book's page on Facebook
• 365 Goodreads readers requested a copy 
• 137 Goodreaders have it on a shelf to read

Each of these bullets left me asking questions like Who are these people? and Are they bored? and Why does this person care so much about my success? or What's in it for them?

It was only on the evening of my book launch, as I stood in front of a group of fifty local fans (as in, close friends and family), that I had two important realizations:

1. I succeeded despite myself. 

2. People who care about you care about your "solo" success. 

Everyone needs at least one person rooting for them on the sidelines. I am grateful (and continually shocked) to have so many.

While self-doubt causes us to question our competence (and results in handicaps like the impostor syndrome) having a fan helps us feel accountable. Telling others that I gave up would have been harder than accepting it for myself. Having fans made me care that much more about my performance.

And guess what? The combination of self-doubt and care about one's performance leads to subjective overachievement. 

Everyone needs a fan.

As we speak, my new author friend is reaching the beginning of the end of her writing process. Her path is slightly different, but her experience largely the same. I am her fan. She has many others, but I am proud to be one of them. It helps that her writing is genuine and her story, authentic. 

It probably goes without saying that I am a fan of many others in this world. They and their projects, more than my own, make my life rich. When they succeed, I succeed. 

What I didn't know before but I know now is that solo adult goals really aren't very adult or very solo. 

There is an insecure child inside each of us and the most adult thing we can do to pacify it is invite others to join our journey from personal challenge to achievement. These ever-positive others will take their roles seriously and actually propel us forward toward our success. 

And by taking this adult approach, you and your accomplishments will always be a fan favorite.